If you read my post about 2017, you’d know how crazy of a year it was, and how many changes came with it. One thing that both terrifies and excites me about new places and situations is the people I meet. I’m a horrible conversation starter. I can end a conversation very quickly, but starting one? What the hell do I say? “Hello, I couldn’t help but notice that you’re wearing plaid right now. What an interesting thing to be wearing in the Pacific Northwest!” I’m the kind of guy that sits around hoping that someone to come talk him. It’s a sucky way to socialize, I know, I’ve been doing it for two decades now. Now, this is not to say that I don’t like talking to people. Quite the contrary,
really. I love talking with people. Some of my best friends are the ones that I can sit down with and have a meaningful conversation with, and those, sad to say it, are few and far apart.
Recently, whilst talking to one of these friends, the topic of relationships and how they’re formed came up. We were talking about how people congregate around like individuals, and how strange it is that we have the immediate ability to tell the difference between someone similar to us and those who don’t fit in. It’s a natural instinct. Humans are creatures with a pack mentality. We have a tendency to gather. Those who keep to themselves don’t last long. So how do we make friends?
I call it The Unconscious Willingness to Notice People, but really it’s more of an unconscious desire. That animalistic urge to find a pack and stick with it drives us to find a pack that we’ll fit in with. Imagine you’re sitting in a classroom. It’s the first day of school, and you know nobody there. There’s a specific person in the room that you keep looking at. You’re not sure why, but there’s something about them. Something interesting. It doesn’t take long for a conversation to start. It doesn’t matter that you’re an introvert and you have never been one to start conversations. The talking was inevitable from the moment that you first laid eyes on them walking into class. As it turns out, you both have a lot of things in common, whether it be your interest in books, movies, TV, Religion, or lack thereof, you are similar.
I think we all have this Unconscious Willingness, a sort of psychic draw to the people that we were meant to meet. Of course, it could be as shallow and vain as “Oh that person looks interesting, maybe I’ll talk to them.”, but I don’t think so. I’ve Noticed too many people that have gone on to become fast friends and even brothers.
Think about the people you know. Think about your friends. How did you meet them? At the end of it all, the sequence of events leading up to the moment that you approach them and have that conversation that leads to friendship all begins with looking up and noticing. So keep an eye out, and listen to that little voice that says “Huh, they’re interesting.”
This all, of course, is just my observations on the world and the way it works. I’d love to know what you think. How do you make friends? Who have you noticed recently? Go ahead and leave a comment below!