I’ve been struggling with finding words to express my thoughts and feelings about Lewis. Now of course feels a little late, though I feel it would do good to say something.
I really only knew Lewis during our shared time at Goldmine, so it is hard for me to consider myself a true friend of his; yet I, like many, feel his loss deeply. He is one of the only surviving memories I have from Goldmine that sticks out. Of course there are the many times during that week that his name was called out like a battle cry, and his easy going crooked smile would spread across his flushed face, but something else sticks out during our last day. I remember as we were packing up and leaving Lewis just standing alone, something rare during Goldmine. I walked over to his side and asked him how he was and if he needed any help. I don’t remember exactly what he said-I was incredibly sleep deprived at the time and it has been about six years-but the jist of what he told me was that he felt like he should’ve done more, said more, and felt like he didn’t really belong there. I simply told him,
You did this. You were the common ground that helped bond everyone together in the beginning. If anyone truly belonged it would be you. We literally scream your name out all the time because we all value your presence that much. You may not have said everything or done everything you wanted, but what you did say and do everyone held their breath for.
And I get the feeling that he continued to make that kind of impact throughout his life.
I recently got a chance to go to Philadelphia. While I was there I tried to remember to take photos, but got swept up in the city most of the time instead. I did however get a chance to take a few photos from the Philadelphia Museum of Art and Rodin Museum.
I have not posted in awhile, mostly because school has been kicking my butt, but also because I didn’t feel I had enough content to actually make a post. I’ve taken plenty of photos since my last post-I went to train day, an abandoned car lot, done a series of portraits, and more but none of them really felt post worthy. These ones were taken on the fly on an impromptu hiking trip with friends. It was a nice and easy break from the business of my usual schedule, being able to slow down and shoot for fun was a good recess from the mostly structured shoots I’ve been doing. I enjoyed seeing what my friends could do with the camera too and most of the photos they took, I just edited them down. Perhaps after the term is over and I can breathe I will post some of the others, but for now these ones will have to do.
It’s hard to be an artist and feel like you have to be achieving new creative things all the time. I personally struggle a lot with this and often fall into funks where I just do not like any of the work I am coming up with. At the beginning of one of my current classes I learned an interesting exercise that has helped me battle these feelings and keep me striving for more creative images.
Very simply, I stand in one spot, and shoot a series of ten compositionally different things. As of writing this I’ve done a few sets of this and have found that the easiest way to do this is with some kind of zoom lens and a location that has variety to it. Below is a set I did on a bridge in a local park that is heavily trafficked by people. It was easy to get the first few images, but around the sixth one I had trouble coming up with new and different things to photograph. Overall it was a fun and interesting short exercise that made me think harder about creativity and composition.
People who know me know one of the things I’ve consistently loved is music. When I was younger I tried to sing at least 10 hours a week and succeeded for quite awhile. However as my voice got better I also became more shy. During that time I used singing as an escape and was reluctant to let anyone in on the hours of me-time and so the only person who really encouraged me to sing, was me. As I got older and moved on in my life my love and taste in music grew and diversified, but I stopped singing as much because I was ‘busy’ and didn’t continue to push myself like I did in other areas where I was offered more support. And only recently I realized just how much I miss it.
I came to this revelation a couple months ago when I was spending a lot of time in the car traveling and singing along with the radio, and since then I’ve been trying to better my voice again. Through this process I stumbled upon opera music. I have always admired classical music but never really got into opera because it was one of the only genres of music my mother could not stand. Now I can listen to it freely without being chastised, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. The following is one of the first things that I heard that made me want to try and learn to sing in a more operatic style. I admire Sabine Devieilhe’s music greatly and it has largely inspired me to go on this opera journey. I don’t expect to become a famous or even good singer, but it is nice to have something to work hard and practice at in my free time again.
Recently I had to take some self portraits for a class. Like most photographers I rather be behind the camera then in front of it and this time was no different. I struggled a lot with the notion of taking my own photo and then having to judge it as a client. It was an exercise of both my patience and self-esteem as a photographer and a person. I did have creative control and got to boss around my friend who helped me stage the photos which made the process a little easier. But I still didn’t relish in the idea of taking my own photo in a professional matter. I did get a chance to play with the canon remote view app which was fun and something I’ll definitely start using more regularly, but probably not for any more self portraits.